Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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