You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I need to stop coming to work sober
pop tarts are not kleenex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
