nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I need water and some morals
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
