hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
even my farts smell like vagina
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
