I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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