I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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