STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
