Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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