I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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