gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
