LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
