I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
