im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
