david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
