is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
