what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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