why didn't you poke me back
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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