I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
