Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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