It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
