Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
