Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
