so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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