I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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