I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
