yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
