I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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