I want to make a zoo with you.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
