Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
