the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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