Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Enjoy the penises
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
