i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
