girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
