guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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