he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
