Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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