im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
