I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
