Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
