So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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