Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
