Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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