Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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