Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
