i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
