Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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