its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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