The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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