My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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