He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
